... Keep in mind ... ;)

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Admin Moderator.

Admin Moderator can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

Admin Moderator doesn't read books. Admin Moderator stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

When Admin Moderator does a pushup, Admin Moderator isn't lifting himself up - Admin Moderator is pushing the Earth down.

Admin Moderator does not sleep. Admin Moderator waits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Admin Moderator has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Admin Moderator.

Admin Moderator does not get frostbite. Admin Moderator bites frost.

Admin Moderator is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

There is no such thing as global warming. Admin Moderator was cold, so Admin Moderator turned the sun up.

Admin Moderator doesn't wear a watch. Admin Moderator decides what time it is.

Admin Moderator gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Admin Moderator can slam a revolving door.

Admin Moderator is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Faster than a speeding bullet... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ... yes, these are some of Admin Moderator's warm-up exercises.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed ... unless it meets Admin Moderator.